Money can be one of the leading causes of conflict in a marriage. Just saying the words “budget,” “taxes,” or “retirement savings” can cause some of us to cringe.

While I am not proposing for the elimination of conflict altogether (some conflict can be healthy and good), with the right approach, couples can work together to create a beautiful, healthy, and stable financial future.

The key is establishing healthy financial habits in the relationship. It’s essential to address financial issues head-on and to communicate openly and honestly with each other. Here are a few tips that can help couples manage this potentially thorny topic successfully.

Communication is key—no secrets.

Open and honest communication is vital when it comes to managing finances in a marriage. Be transparent about income, expenses, and financial goals. This doesn’t need to be a long, drawn-out conversation; but regular check-ins can help keep things on track and avoid major surprises down the road.

Have a safe, non-judgmental space where both people feel comfortable discussing their finances. It’s also important to listen to each other’s perspectives and respect each other’s opinions. When both spouses are open and honest about their finances, they can work together to create a plan that aligns with their shared goals.

Plan together and set a budget.

Once you’ve established open communication about finances, the next step is to plan together. Creating a budget and reviewing expenses regularly can help couples stay on track toward their financial goals. Planning together can also help create a sense of accountability and shared responsibility. Base the budget on the couple’s combined income and expenses and let both have input in creating it. One person may take the lead (maybe they enjoy numbers more), and that’s okay – the important thing is to let both spouses have input.

Set goals together.

Along with the budget, set goals together. These can be short-term or long-term and can include things like saving for a down payment on a house, paying off debt, planning for retirement, or traveling. Working towards these goals together can go a long way toward keeping couples motivated and focused.

Set aside a little “fun money.”

Even with a budget, it’s helpful to have a little flexibility. Each person can have the ability to spend money on something they enjoy (within reason) without feeling guilty. By setting aside an agreed-upon amount of “fun money” each month, couples give each other the freedom to spend without any judgment or resentment. This can help reduce stress and tension around money.

That said, it’s vital to agree on an amount that’s reasonable and feasible. This can help prevent financial arguments and promote a healthy balance in the relationship.

Set expectations and responsibilities.

Setting clear expectations and identifying financial responsibilities in the relationship can help prevent misunderstandings and avoid conflicts. Discuss who will handle which items of the budget and how larger purchases will be decided upon.

Review together.

Review expenses regularly and adjust the budget as necessary. Again, this may just be a brief conversation, but having regular check-ins (even if it is just five minutes per week) keeps the stream of communication open and the goals front of mind.

While you do this, try to keep things flexible and realize that the only constant thing is change. Show grace to yourself and to each other.

Recognize differences.

It’s important to recognize that each person may have a different approach to money. Some people are savers, while others are spenders. Recognize these differences and find a balance that works for both people. Discuss priorities and goals for your money and find a way to work together to achieve them. By finding a compromise that works for each person, couples can help build a solid financial foundation.

Partnership is the key.

Managing money in a marriage requires open communication, joint planning, and compromise. The good news is that couples can work together to help create a stable and financially secure future. Remember, it’s not about who earns or spends more, but working together towards a common financial goal.

Couples who communicate openly, plan together, and recognize each other’s differences are better equipped to handle financial challenges and achieve their shared goals. If you’re struggling to manage your finances as a couple, our team would love to help you create a financial plan that works for both of you.

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